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Welcome to the Jungle, part 1

So I have a lot of catching up to do, lol

We've finally moved in and are mostly settled, though there's still a lot of cleaning to be done and actual unpacking. My immediate goal, well our immediate goal was to get all the stuff in, the furniture moved to where we want it and boxes put somewhere that doesn't create the haphazard maze of chaos our old apartment was before we left. Goal achieved!

So virtual tour commence:


My new room, and it's so big! At least it is to me, considering I was essentially in a box last time. I love having so much space and so much potential, and I love that now Mirage has so much more room to run around in. The walls need a repaint and those curtains need to go, and my window needs a screen since it doesn't have one but that's all easy enough to deal with. I'm thinking of going with a bright sapphire blue, not too dark but around that shade. I'd like to paint my closet doors, but given that this is a rental I'm not sure I can/should. Maybe I'll paint on something and somehow attach them to the panels so they cover the wood but it's not in any way permanent. Must look into this.


Backyard ^_^

I've missed this! As you can see though, there's a lot of cleanup to be done. When I get a chance (i.e. a day when it's not humid and hot) I'm going to rip about 90% of the gardens out. It's mostly weeds anyway, but there are some actual plants in there and some are worth keeping. Hostas, I think are one. I think there's tiger lilies in there as well, but I don't know if those will stay. I like lilies, but tiger lilies I don't like enough to keep if I don't have to. The crabapple tree is going to need to be trimmed back some also. I don't understand why people plant crabapple trees. You can't eat them raw, most people don't like them period so making jelly is pointless. At least it gives shade, I suppose. It's too big to uproot and replace with something else, so guess I'll have to make the best of it. Maybe when the blooms start to turn into fruit I'll just clip them so I don't have a mass of crabapples falling all over my yard that I have to dispose of before they rot.

There's more to this backyard that I didn't catch in the pic. To the right the yard comes in a bit, there's a section of patio stones and a six piece patio set. A really nice one, too. Plus a bbq and storage for the water hose. I have to clean up around there too though, lots of weeds and such. I'll get pics soon though!


My computer room! That chalkboard thing isn't mine, it's our landlord's. She left a lot of little things behind and basically said either we could have it, or just put it in the garage and she'd get rid of it later. Mom thinks (and I'm thinking she's probably right) that she bought it from a craft fair because it's quite well done, and if she did it herself girl's got some real talent. Not quite sure where I'm going to hang it yet, and right now it's keeping the closet closed so no rush. I have to get that fixed. I have more of an idea for this room than I do my own bedroom, haha. I want to do this on the walls:


(from artfauxdesign.com

I'm going to use a warmer neutral for the stone colour, but that's more or less it. It's going to look great in here. I might keep the curtain rod that's already up, depending on how it fits with the rest of the room and whether I find something I like more. those curtains aren't staying, but I'm debating whether with new ones to keep that short length or get something longer. I think I like the short length. My desk I'm going to replace, as well as eventually the bookcase. The closet isn't very big so I'm going to find a nice wooden cabinet for storage of my craft supplies, and maybe one for computer stuff as well. One wall is going to have a collage of corkboards where I plan to pin up stuff like pictures and quotes and such. I found some that are in nice wooden frames so I can add to it if I like. It's going to be a lot of fun doing this room :)

The Last Day

Making a post now, since I'm not sure when I'll have internet access again. Hopefully not too long, and if I can borrow a signal I will. We'll see.

Today is the move! Everything about this has been so sudden and bumpy, but it's also all working itself out. I'll be glad once it's all over though. So I'm doing a pass of peoples' blogs before I sign off for the night. Oh I can't wait for easier wireless access.

So have a good one guys, I'll see you when I see you <3


Life, It Goes On

Been putting off packing, since we've decided to move for a couple reasons. We're still looking for places so I'm not sure where it is we're going to end up, but there are some really promising prospects and we've put out a ton of applications. So I'm not too worried, but the situation here is still a little stressed. We had a great property manager who was 'let go' after a few weeks because the company felt a couple would be better. I have no idea why, I saw more of him than I did of the couple who had the job before him. The only problem is that the couple they hired is the same couple my sister and b-i-l worked with before they were fired. I'm not going to go into much of it here, but I will say that it was just an awful experience for my sis and b-i-l and never should have occured. This couple though is remaining completely pleasant right now though, and I don't plan on starting anything so long as they don't. Plus, we're going to be out of here real soon anyway.

It's starting to get easier to kick my own butt to get back in gear with everything. I started taking up exercising again, I go for walks almost daily (my sis helps there, since we both go to the park with the dogs) and I'm slowly improving my eating habits. I used to average one meal a day and far too much caffiene, now it's two to three meals and a lot more water. The iced capp habit is going to be especially hard to break, but I'm going to try and wean myself onto the frozen lemonades before cutting myself off. One, they're a little cheaper, and two they are so good. The raspberry flavour is, anyway. I've noticed that I'm starting to get more sensitive to caffiene than I used to be; I can barely tolerate two iced capp's worth, anything more than that gives me a caffiene equivalent of a hangover the next day, depending on how far over my limit I went. Kind of sucks, but that's life. I don't plan on giving up the iced capps permanently, but I definitely need to kick the habit.

The work on my teeth finished last month. I can't say I enjoyed the intensity of the appointments. My dentist packed in as much as he could possibly do in an hour, and even though I knew they wouldn't force me to sit through the whole appointment if my anxiety ever got to the point where I just couldn't do it, they were kind of counting on me to do it. It would have just delayed things anyway. The more I endured though, the easier it got by the end and I think I'm finally over my anxiety with regards to the dentist. That's a huge relief, especially now that I have a way to go back to the dentist (without insurance, it was basically impossible). So now every affected tooth has been repaired, my busted molar is gone, my wisdoms are gone and the broken front tooth is also gone. Five extractions in three appointments. The only problem I ended up having was the second extraction. They had to take out a bit of bone to get the tooth out, I swelled and was in so much pain I had to get Tylenol 2 from the dentist. Which I couldn't swallow anyway because I could barely open my mouth. Awful week that was. No dry sockets though, which was a plus. In hindsight I don't think it would have happened because of how easily my gums bleed but I wasn't going to take chances. Now the question is how do I replace the front tooth. My current coverage won't cover it, I can't afford to pay for an implant myself so my only options are to see a prosthodontist or denturist (he said that would be my cheapest option) or apply to the special OW unit that deals with special procedures they don't ordinarily cover, and see if they'll approve coverage. All I can do is try.

I mustered up the courage to post Chasing Dreams to a writer's group. A real one, not a mindless praise group where everyone's writing is "great!". If you have mistakes or your stuff stinks, they'll tell you. If it's good or needs just a bit more polishing, they'll tell you. The last thing any writer wants to hear is that a story they love just sucks and probably isn't worth publishing, but I love this story. I want to give it the best shot possible. It doesn't suck! lol It still needs a great deal of work, but the critiques were incredibly helpful with suggestions. And one person said the writing was good :) It's not that I think my friends don't mean it when they compliment a story of mine, but when a complete stranger tells you the same thing it's huge. Now time to buck down, finish this story and study how to fix and polish it up. And try not to get sidelined too badly by other ideas competing for my attention. Maybe I should adopt G's method and just not sleep XD

Obligatory GACKT post

Because I have to write this out, it just keeps bubbling in me otherwise. Thrown behind a cut so that if you don't wish to see/read, you don't have to. A life update is coming, there's just a lot to update about lol

Huge clusterfuck is hugeCollapse )
I'm not sure, I just know I gotta get this out :)

I was kind of complaining about the latest OGYD discussion post (yeah I was complaining even though I commented on it). I don't know, I don't think sensitive discussions like that always work in a group setting. Even though drama seemed to be at a minimum, it still has the potential to leave a lot of frustration anyway, and didn't we just come out of an overload of frustration? I don't know, maybe it's the timing. Maybe it's the fact that I'm still on edge because of mom. I think it is kind of sad though that because these things have the potential to be so emotionally charged even when the comm tries very hard to keep it neutral, people stay out of it. I stepped out because I was getting frustrated by some comments I was seeing and I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to comment even further. It's not the things like people who don't agree with certain parts of his philosophy, because there's nothing wrong with that, or wishing he'd not be so rough with his health which I actually agree with. Nor is it the whole debate about his views on women, which I guess it comes down to interpretation because I never take it as him trying to be an authority on the roles of men and women, it's just his forceful XD opinion. Plus it's your choice whether you decide to follow it or not, bitching about it is just plain out counterproductive. But it bugs me to see people who sort of 'dictate' what he should or shouldn't be doing because it's somehow not appropriate, or talk like they know him. Unless YOU or Cha or a staff member is masquerading in these comms as a fan (scary thought XD) no fan has any right to say he's this way or that with any authority. Because despite how much he shares and how close he gets to us, we don't know him as a person fully and we never will unless someone's fortunate enough to be a part of his circle. Even I try to make it clear that even if I feel certain in my guess, it's still just a guess. I tend to see that in a few places, fans who talk about him like they know all about him (Gackt is Godly on FB is a hotbed for that sometimes). Drives me nuts. I think the only two people in the world who could ever talk about G like they know him is Cha and YOU and only because of how long they've known the man. I think fans should stop pretending they know him unless they actually, yanno, know him.

I give credit to those who can keep a level head consistantly in that kind of a post, but I guess I just don't like the idea of anyone feeling they can't participate because of the likelihood of things getting heated. I wonder, is it that important to have these discussions as a fandom and a comm? Most of us can tell for the most part that on average GACKT fans tend to be level-headed and it's not all about his looks. Those fans just happen to be more vocal but they're not exactly a snapshot of the fandom. So I mean what are we trying to prove, and to whom? So other people don't think we're just blind fans who love everything? Who cares. People who are that set on making that opinion are going to find a reason no matter what. I know I'm not a crazy fan, and I'm not going to go prove to anyone who thinks otherwise that I'm not. I know why I like him and what I value about him and bottom line that's all that matters. I don't know, it's just my thinking. The mods overall do a great job, even if I don't always agree with their decisions.

Kind of also bugs me to see people who just have absolutely no trust in him. Especially older fans, who've seen all manner of crazy ideas from him that turned out all right in the end. I don't know, I guess it confounds me that someone could be a fan for so long, love his music and his ideas but have absolutely no trust in them at the same time. Not liking said idea isn't the same thing. I mean I don't know how this thing with two vocalists is going to work either, tbh, but G is someone who demands nothing but the best. I can't see him just picking any old singer, but someone whose talent he respects. The least you can do is at least be a little open-minded, because if you don't trust him by now you never will. I don't know, I just don't get the point of being a fan if when every new idea comes along it's always 'oh that's not going to work'.

Writer's Block: Leaping from the page

Which comic book character would you like to see on the silver screen? Who would you cast to play the role?

Unless and until Hollywood can learn to tell a great story without relying so heavily on special effects to create a good movie, I don't want to see any more comic book characters hit movie screens. The story shouldn't be taking a back seat to effects.

Letting Go and Starting New

I had a friendship officially end the other day. I'm somewhat bummed, but at the same time I wasn't really surprised to read the message. We did kind of go through this before and we did talk about it, and though we hadn't gone right back to where we were before I though we were getting there. It's over now though, so nothing to do but move on. All ties have been cut on both sides, and they sent a sort of 'parting words' message to me. I'd like to send one back (that isn't meant as bad as it sounds, I have no hurtful or hateful words to send), but I don't know. It won't change anything, so it's probably not worth it.

I know I can be difficult to handle. I tend to be overly emotional and sometimes irrational. And my disability only seems to agitate me further when things get going. But I do try, and I live by this now (mostly the last part, I try not to be selfish or out of control):

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

I also like this video here (can't embed, it was disabled). Everyone should watch it, it has elements that apply to all kinds of relationships and it's good advice to keep in mind.

In other news, I have several pieces of jewellry made up, that I have to photograph. I have about 7 bracelets and two necklace and bracelet sets. One set is so nice I actually don't want to sell it really :D I'll post photos of course, but basically it's a green and gold colour scheme built around the gorgeous pendant my mom spotted. There was no way I was going to leave without it once I saw it and it has a great weight to it. Not flimsy, but not overly heavy either. Hopefully I can go back to Wal-Mart and pick up some more pendants in different colours! And get myself the materials to remake that green one and sell that. I'm not 100% happy with the bracelet, it's difficult to put on. I need more practice with wire, and maybe magnetic clasps. Fire Mountain sells them now so maybe I'll purchase those in the near future especially since I have a $10 credit on my account! Haha I have no idea how that happened. Well math was never my strong suit, though I went with their calculations, not mine. It'll be most helpful in the near future though. I'm still waiting for my gemstone beads, eagerly I might add. I wish I had a tracking number. Well if it doesn't show up by the end of the week I'll buzz them again and see what they can find out for me. I'm really so pleased with their customer service, they're really super prompt. Crossing my fingers that they come really soon though, I already have an order for one!

Some fandom discussion has had me kind of puzzled, mostly about some of G's replies to fans on twitter being too perverted and that he's stepping a little too far. It's not that I think people are wrong to think that way I just...don't seem to see what they're seeing. I'm convinced it must be something he's tweeting in Japanese, which I can't read and I don't think Amaia's gotten to all of it yet. I read past perverted ones, and they make me laugh XD Teasing bastard. I honestly think that's what it is. Perverted tweets are a new form of fanservice. Ah he's always been a perv, we've always known that, he's not really showing us something we didn't know. Maybe I'm just desensitized to it, he's pretty tame in comparison to some books I've read ;)

Speaking of books, I need to get my ass moving and write more. I need to update my writing comm with something.

Lots to do today. I'm going to set a better vibe for myself with it being a new month and all and by the 30th I should have a much more productive June than May. I'm tired of being stagnant. And anxious. And panicky. Time to get my life in order and live. Breaking out the diary and setting a whole week of activity for myself now. It's go time.

Just a Heads Up

I'm going to be doing a small friend's cut soon, so this is an ahead-of-time warning. I will NOT be cutting people who in their journals have made it pretty obvious RL is keeping them insanely busy and unable to comment. But if you haven't commented at all or even somewhat recently (like the past couple months) and wish to stay, give me a shout and please comment more :) Even if you think it's an irrelevant comment. Probably by week's end it will be done.

Real post coming later. I have much to share!

EDIT: If you're new, or have commented even a handful of times I'm not cutting you, so don't panic :) There's just a few folks on my flist who've been pretty silent, and I wanted to give everyone a fair heads-up just in case folks were lurking. I don't mind lurkers :) Just want to make sure you're, yanno, actually there! Plus I think I have a couple accounts that are no longer being used by their owners, so this is how I'll figure them out. Sorry for the panic guys ^_^ It was REALLY late at the time lol
I should really update this more. So much to say and I keep forgetting to note it down. Not sure where to start, so I'll just go randomly I guess.

YFC Europe DVDCollapse )

PlannarCollapse )

Broke itCollapse )

Bracelets anyone?Collapse )

en francais?Collapse )

Gakupo CosplayCollapse )

Overachieving NephewCollapse )

What to doCollapse )

Caution, Rant Ahead

Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should

I've noticed people on twitter (and it tends to be the same people) include G in their convos. As in adding @GACKT to their list of names. And it bugs the crap out of me and asked them to stop. And why. Tonight I got jumped on and essentially told that we shouldn't be telling other people what to tweet and not tweet, and that tweets are free so people should feel free to do however they want. Courtesy being lost here.

-for one, the Mentions list is not infinite. For those of us who don't get millions of tweets we'd not notice. But for someone like GACKT who gets tons of tweets a DAY, every random tweet like a convo you're having with your friends bumps away a direct tweet from a fan asking him a question or paying him a compliment. This means he'll never see that tweet because it's too low on his Mentions list, Twitter won't load it.

-As harsh as this is going to sound, tagging him in your convo doesn't mean he'll join in. One, he'll be trying to figure out just what is going on, and two the convo will be over by the time he sees it. So you've wasted all his time for what? A convo he doesn't understand? When he's got all these other tweets he's trying to keep up with and answer?

-Like omg_its_gackt and excused_early pointed out, it's disrespectful to him and to other fans. In my view it's basically like saying "I don't care that G has thousands of tweets to try and read, or that there are other fans trying to reach him. My conversation is more important." As a fan who has tried tweeting him and still to get a response, and knowing that my tweets may not have even had a chance to be seen because of this stuff, doesn't make me feel all fuzzy.

I guess this is the downside to having him so accessible. People want to include him in everything. It's not that I don't understand the sentiment, but Twitter's just not the platform for it. It's too restrictive.